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From: Antrobus (Underwater Studies)
Date: 01/12/97
Dear Secretary Re: the above. I must strenuously urge upon the Senate and others utmost caution. There can be barbed bequests and a poisoned Priory holds more scope for damaging our health, financial and other, than any mere chalice. The upkeep of an estate fettered by covenants and designated as an AONB is potentially an astronomical new charge upon our finances. Unless some body can be urged to run the Priory as a profit-making venture - at no cost whatsoever to ourselves - I fear we must counsel rejection. Of course the situation might be different if the National Lottery people were prepared to guarantee running costs... but alas they seem more concerned to provide employment for their architect friends. Yours Antrobus
From: The Dean's Office
Date: 10 Mar 2003
CONFIDENTIAL TO ALL ACADEMIC TEACHING STAFF We applaud honesty at Armageddon and I have always been proud to hear of members of my teaching staff being big enough to admit to their students that they are not terribly good at giving Lectures and taking Seminars. However, in the past, when those mature students who took control left crying that they were being “bled to death”, it didn’t really matter. Now, with the need to publish statistics regarding grades, things have changed. In the past week we have lost five of these 1st Class Honours types and all tell the same story. When they miss Lectures/Seminars due to dentistry, chiropody or stress, they allege that they are accosted by angry, fellow students complaining “You weren’t there last Tuesday, so none of us has got any notes on Einstein’s Theory of Relativity/Hedda Gabler/The Catoline Conspiracy/The Story of the Ugly Duckling” etc., Now I use this word loosely, but, it is the duty of you, the Academic Staff, to get to know a little about these students. Their state of health, whereabouts etc., so that you can, when they are absent, cancel their Lecture/Seminar commitments in good time. The Dean.