[ Contents | Search | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: IT Cheerleader
Date: 08/10/97
Armageddon's new Management Information System has arrived little over 3 years late. Some teething problems have prevented departments receiving any lists of the names of their new students, but happily those departments that still have stationery mostly remembered to write down the names of newcomers during the 9 hour registration ordeal. Solidarity reigned: despite the shortage of staples, photos could be fixed to record cards by sharing a Pritt stick with adjacent subjects.
From: The Dean's Office
Date: 20 Feb 2003
OBITUARY We are very sorry to report the death of Dr. William Wibsey of the Quantum Physics Department whom, we are informed, passed away peacefully in his sleep. His body was found yesterday - under the floorboards of the boathouse. Police forensic experts have placed his death at sometime around 1996. Dr. Wibsey graduated from The Very Northern European Studies Department in 1923 after gaining 1st-class honours in Runology & Aromatherapy. Dr. Wibsey appears, since his demise, to have (a) pioneered a type of student-controlled essay and exam assessment system - based on, controversially, merit. (b) written several extremely well-informed papers on Quantum Physics. (c) published an award winning book The Definitive Quantum Physics University Teaching Aid. (Harvard Press) and (d) become something of a popular and highly-paid Lecturer at Physics Symposia around the world. Apparently a much-publicized visitor to Monaco, Dr. Wibsey leaves a Rolls Royce, luxury yacht and ten-storey Condominium in Monte Carlo in trust for the post-graduates of his Department. The Finance Department reports that there is nothing unusual about academics continuing to draw salaries after unnoticed death and, at £85,000 p.a., Dr. Wibsey’s Claims for Expenses were about par for the course.